Casting My Partner

All my single ladies? All my single ladies! I love my independence, but I am very much ready to no longer be single and to find my partner. Over the last six years in therapy, and especially over the last several months of the giant pause in 2020, I have done the work that I need to to be ready to be in a healthy relationship that honors both myself and my partner, as well as the two of us together.

As someone who hates dating, I knew that if I really wanted to find him, I had to find a way to make it fun. Enter casting my partner! I’m no casting director (my VERY brief stint working in casting confirmed that was not my path), but I have recently been treating dating as though it is an audition process and I’m sitting behind the table hoping each gent is the one that’s right for the role.

My Bumble process looks a lot like my first year in New York - step one is to “type” the gents out. That’s the swiping we’ve all come to know and love/loathe. This feels like that first dance call or vocal audition or monologue where you give them an across the floor, 16 bars, or 60 seconds and they make a cut. After we’ve matched and I’m required to message first, I wave and we head to the first callback - chatting in the app.

This first chatting is crucial because it is that first callback when you’re given a piece from the show to bring back into the room and see how quickly you pick up material and whether or not you are a fit for the vision. If the in-app messaging goes well, I’ll offer up my number to text me and make time to do a video chat. This is the second callback - time to go home and work on the song and sides and come back next week for another round. The video chat gives me a chance to see how we vibe, and whether or not I’d like to meet someone in person for a coffee or drink.

So far, I’ve had one in-person date, which was enjoyable and likely will lead to another. In the meantime, the videos are happening when I can and I’m hoping each gent that makes it that far will be the one to get to the next round of callbacks. Eventually, the role will be cast and the scenework begins ✨